Tuesday, November 02, 2004


ive become exactly what i thought i would never be. a rebelious, obnoxious teenager. i suck.
im obsessed with Elizabeth Bathory, yes i know im a psycho. if you dont know who she is, in a nut shell she was a woman living in 17th centry transylvania who took showers in the blood of young pretty virgin girls beleiving it kept her looking young and pale. she was also bisexual and spent alot of time with her aunt Klara. shes so awsome i love her brutality, i only wish she had beaten only mean and shoved pins under their finger nails and only took showers in womens blood. but i suppose her torturing young woman with little reason was some of the earliest bondage.
i have such a boring life. its probably because im so young. i guess you could call me a goth and when i went trick or treating, this one lady said that she wouldnt have given me candy had i not dressed up..i didnt dress up, i only wore a black mesh shirt with a black t-shirt over it and a black skirt and a black trench coat to top it off. its no big deal.
im so sick of people calling me fake...or poseur or telling me i try too hard. so i dont have a sence of humor and i came with a scowl glued to my face, what the fuck do you want me to do about it??? so i dont listen to slip knot or korn, what do you want me to say, "sorry i like a the cure, ill try to cut down on how much of their music i listen too." lately ive been abdoning my stripes...im just sick of them, so much color, it makes me sick. i have red and black and white and black stripey thigh-highs and i have two pairs of black and purple stripey tights, red and black and white and black stripey o.t.k.s, and i have black and red, black and white and black and hot pick stripey knee-his, and im entirely sick of them all. the only ones i ever really liked were my black and purple o.t.k.s but they got holes and i foolishly cut them up to make something else....im so stupid.
also, (more about sox) i dont understand how my fishnets are in "such bad shape" they only have about 10 rips 6" in diameter, i think it looks cool. i want purple fishnets and black bat shoes, thats what i want, i also want the black patent bat vintage style purse, the spikey backpack and the coffin purse from spooky boutique. but i dont have enough money. as much as i hate hot topic i want the black denim corset that is only $36 and the black trench coat that had three rows of gromet strips across the top but its all so expensive, i also want this one black and purple lamp that i saw at spencers and some new posters and all of the cures cds from 1979 to 1985 and i want beads for my bedroom door, and my own coffin, i want to much. and people call me a spoiled brat...^ that up there is why i could never be christian ^_^


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